I am not one to hate on that which is new for the sake of hating on that which is new. You won't find me tipping my hat and claiming that CRTs are better due to their high refresh rates. But I can no longer stand back and watch, heads must roll for this one.

Short form content (SFC) is a menace, a scourge, a poison that must be eradicated. An injured horse that must be taken to the back of the barn and shot.

You probably know what I mean, but for the elders amongst you I'm talking about those 30 second clips that loop and don't have the ability to seek. It started with TikkyTok, where at least it was confined like a foul beast. At this point I didn't even really know about it because I didn't have access to it apart from second hand experience from seeing based YouTubers roast TikTokers. If you want to visit a prostitute go to the designated neigbourhood of seedy behaviours, I won't mind as long as it isn't in my backyard (although I will look upon you from a distance in disgust). But no, sat in my home I face a full on attack from the forces of evil. The poison has spread, my backyard plants I so carefully nurtured are willowing. A tear rolls down my cheek and drops onto a shriveled up leaf, I fall to my knees and pound my fists into the ground and let out an anime style vengeance roar into the sky.

It went too far when it came to YouTube. YouTube was my place. It actually wasn't bad. But god dam the shorts. YouTube had been a great platform with great educational content that creators would lovingly create. You've got everything, A guy showing you his retro computing collection, someone explaining Russian battle tactics, tutorials on how to make a steam engine. Even the simple things where someone would play a game and just talk over it can be funny and entertaining. I mention that as an example as I want to highlight I'm not being pompous here, I'm not claiming that comedic and entertaining videos are a "waste" and everything must educate, and certainly not that everything must be professional. That's cringe crap from a brocast. All I'm saying is if you knew where to look there was a lot of high value content that someone toiled to produce. You weren't wasting your time.

But SFC is just crap, its garbage thats bad for the kids and bad for you. As a society we shouldn't be rewarding bad art or content. It needs to be quarantined and allowed to die. These SFC creators are getting the platform and the views, but no one really likes it, its dark UX patterns and human manipulation for profit. Those who do like it don't know any better: kids, youth, punks and the uneducated. So they'll make more and more. I genuinelly support a government ban on this. Its no different than banning drugs or murder.

The UX designers have concocted dark patterns such that if you go to Youtube.com you will end up on Shorts. I don't know how it happens, you just end up there. And once you are there you just scroll. I don't know why, it just happens, it's the primordial brain at work, its you operating on a lower functioning plane of existence. Maybe its the fluoride in the water?

Small minded folks may point out how people once thought novels would be dangerous, newspapers also, and that by pointing out the evils of SFC we are overreacting like those fools from the past. They couldn't be any more wrong. Its not just a "medium". Its not just the fact that its short and unseekable - although I am sure that it is hazardous within itself. Its the very content within it. We've been telling stories since the dawn of mankind orally, and novels as a medium just made them more widespread. The content is similar, the medium is just a progression, a more effective way of storing information through the ages and a more ideal way to consume. But what is the historical equivalent of some punk going up to a randomer on the street and asking them how much their "drip" cost and getting 3 million views? Police should beat, with batons, people who walk up to strangers with their phones already recording. How weird must you be to walk to a stranger recording saying shit like "whats your happiest memory"? Mind your own business before I glass you m8.

Join me in the Jeeehad against short form content:

1. Get mad. Get so very mad until you foam at the mouth.
2. Obviously stay away from platforms designed for SFC like TikkyTok. Are you really going anywhere near that garbage? (insert laughing girls at freak in party image here)
3. If someone sends you SFC, refuse to watch it and explain that it is evil. Even if it is a hot girl, you must explain to her why she is wrong for sharing SFC with you.
4. Just say no. If you accidentally end up there because of dark patterns close your browser window and seek refuge in the mountains.
5. If all else fails just take a long break from YouTube or whatever. Daily drive FreeDOS if that's what it takes.
6. Tell all your friends how bad SFC is. If theres a small silence at a dinner party, proselytize our cause. I find that clenching my cutlery and banging on the table really gets my point across. This pairs well with point (1) like wine and cheese.

From the YouTube point of view I need to find a new interface to it. Thats the fundamental problem that they push you to the shorts. I want something that doesn't recommend as much random shit. That allows me to organise my subscriptions into categories or "channels". An experience that is very catered to showing me what I'm interested in, and of course no shorts. If you have a suggestion leave it in the guest book. And no please no terminal based memeware, I want something comfy I can enjoy a hot cup of coco and click about on my machine. Currently I'm playing around with Piped shall report on how that goes.

Good day.

Edit: Having a lot of luck with Piped and RSS feeds, update coming soon!

Click thing to boogie...